Awesome Dude... How to Prepare Dog
April 9th 2008 14:31
Alright once you have selected your pooch the best thing to do is to punch him in the nose. Bam! That got him. So now he is running scared because you have been the big man and shown him whose boss.
This is good.
Now in some countries they hang the dog from a tree and punch it to death, this seems cruel. I like to tie the dog to a bungee cord and fling him up like a slingshot and when he comes back down I head butt him back up again. This makes him terrified and makes the meat all the better.
But I don’t kill him yet, no I coax him in closer... here boy... that’s a good boy... c’mon little closer, that’s it... BAM!! I’ll pull one of his whiskers out. I’m so fast he doesn’t even know it’s happened, but then I show him the mirror and POW!! He can’t believe how deformed he looks missing that whisker, what will the other dogs say.
This is what they’d say- Yo Virgil, what’s with the face, you look like a fag.
Virgil would be like- Shut up cock breath, my owner assaulted me.
Then they’d be like- yeah sure fag, you probably done it to yourself trying to be all emo.
Then Virgil is like- yeah, you wanna step up punk.
And they’d be like- yeah.
Virgil- yeah.
Then- yeah
Anyway by this stage you have your dog in a headlock and you are giving him a noogie, then you move on to a Chinese burn, or Indian burn, then you play slaps with him. (This involves you slapping him in the face).
What you need-
One dog (medium size)
Forty four gallon drum
Forty gallons of water
Salt n pepper
What you do-
Place drum on fire, fill with water, bring to boil, throw dog in, pinch of salt, pinch of pepper. Boil for one hour.
Serve.
Here's one I prepared earlier
Fun fact No70- Awesome Dudes food is tested by Virgil the Awesome Boxer. ( Yes Virgil was named after the Roman poet Virgil)
Nomad (Awesome Dude)
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Comment by Jarrah
Back to the Eighties
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Joe Cool
Comment by Nomad
Awesome Food
or... whats that mean? or... I'm a Sadistic dog killer.
great deduction joe cool
Nomad (cooking dogs since 1980)
Comment by Kim L
Diving About
Comment by Nomad
Awesome Food
Nomad
Comment by RubySoho
Music Zone
Thought Zone
Hey as a long time vego, I have to say I find it amusing that meat eaters have no qualms about eating Babe or Foghorn Leghorn but get all eeeew about eating Pluto or Garfield.
Why is that?
Doesn't it all taste like chicken anyway?
Comment by Nomad
Awesome Food
Nomad
Comment by Jarrah
Back to the Eighties
However, when I was in Bali...
Comment by Mountain Fog
Infognito
QUOTE ME NO QUOTES!
So, "A.D."...now I know why you like boxers!!!!
Terrible really...but you can get help...
"DA"...Dogs Anonymous!
You have to do the 12 Barking Steps first:
Step One:
You came to believe a power greater than you can remove your yen for dog.
(afterall, DOG is GOD in reverse!)
So, that's your baby, Virgil? He looks gorgeous! Fabulous name too.
I miss them so much, the bubbles, the play...I have been working on a long post about my boxer dog, Jazz, but stopped as it got a bit sad reminiscing...anyway, I will post it soon I hope.
OH! One other thing, when are you doing an interesting cat dish? Dim Sims are too boring!
cheers
fog
Comment by Nomad
Awesome Food
for a cat dish- how bout twice fried cat, it'll be nice and crispy yet tender inside...
rock on fog
Nomad
Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
But all I wanted was hot dog with ketchup, not a (German) shepards Pie in a bun...looks good though.
Comment by the world of gaye
batty
Family Madness
bright lights greedy city
REFLECTIONS
THE WINDMILLS OF MY MIND
Comment by Nomad
Awesome Food
Nomad
Comment by Whitney
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