Awesome Dudes Awesome Fried Rice
March 10th 2008 07:16
Alright people, listen up. I’m gonna tell ya how to make fried rice. Awesome Dudes fried rice rocks!! It could be the most awesome fried rice this side of the equator... actually, it is.
Now when you make fried rice you have to have an air of awesomeness about you, you have to ooze confidence, you have to... well basically, be me.
This fried rice isn’t no side dish either; you could feed the whole friggin’ Chinese army with this shit. (That’s a lot of people)(Sorry to state the obvious)
Alright losers, this is what you need-
BBQ chicken, just the white meat, the rest... be a man, eat it!!
400gm can of bean sprouts
400gm can of champignons
400gm can of baby corn
Little can of prawns 200gm’s or so
Couple of rashes of bacon
Green capsicum
2 eggs
Big onion, red
4 spring onions
1 and 1/2 cups of long grain rice to 1 and ½ cups of water
Garlic, few cloves crushed or chopped
Olive oil, dry sherry, soy sauce
Now I normally use fresh mushrooms and fresh bean sprouts but Coles mushrooms looked like they’d been up my dogs arse for a week, and then he got a severe case of diarrhea, and the Coles truck came past and scooped it up, and put it on their shelves.
They didn’t have fresh bean sprouts.
Alright people when it comes to cooking rice the best method is the absorption method, if I hear that any of you losers out there have been throwing it in ten gallons of water and draining it in a colander and just wasting all that water, well... well I’m not sure what I’ll do, something nasty though.
You’ve been warned!!
Alright, cooking rice. You can do it on the stove or in the microwave, it’s up to, I prefer the microwave because there is a lot less stirring. Now equal parts rice to water people, I can’t stress that enough, you don’t want your fried rice all stuck together in big rice lumps. The more water the more gluggy and shite the rice will be. 1 and ½ cups of rice is 6 mins on medium in a microwave rice cooker, pull it out stir it, put it back in for another 6 mins on medium and, bang! She’s done. Give it a stir too.
Now chop up your vegies and drain the ones that need draining from the cans, cut the white meat of your chicken and dice it up. Dice bacon, beat the eggs. The egg will be a thin omelette thinly sliced, cook that first in your mammoth fry pan or wok, take it out and slice it on ya chopping board.
Onion garlic bacon in the wok with a good splash of olive oil. Fry away for a couple of minutes. Throw in capsicum, stir. Then all your canned goods (drained and/or rinsed) Stir around for a few minutes. Now throw in the rice, stir it round til it’s all mixed through nicely. Chicken in now and egg too. Now the awesome part, a good ole’ splash of sherry, stir it round until the sherry is absorbed, then a splash of soy sauce and the spring onions on top, stir around and serve.
I know I know, I’m truly awesome.
Fun fact No95- Iain Hewitson once ate a baby. (Its true)
Nomad (Awesome Dude)
Now when you make fried rice you have to have an air of awesomeness about you, you have to ooze confidence, you have to... well basically, be me.
This fried rice isn’t no side dish either; you could feed the whole friggin’ Chinese army with this shit. (That’s a lot of people)(Sorry to state the obvious)
Alright losers, this is what you need-
BBQ chicken, just the white meat, the rest... be a man, eat it!!
400gm can of champignons
400gm can of baby corn
Little can of prawns 200gm’s or so
Couple of rashes of bacon
Green capsicum
2 eggs
Big onion, red
4 spring onions
1 and 1/2 cups of long grain rice to 1 and ½ cups of water
Garlic, few cloves crushed or chopped
Olive oil, dry sherry, soy sauce
Now I normally use fresh mushrooms and fresh bean sprouts but Coles mushrooms looked like they’d been up my dogs arse for a week, and then he got a severe case of diarrhea, and the Coles truck came past and scooped it up, and put it on their shelves.
They didn’t have fresh bean sprouts.
Alright people when it comes to cooking rice the best method is the absorption method, if I hear that any of you losers out there have been throwing it in ten gallons of water and draining it in a colander and just wasting all that water, well... well I’m not sure what I’ll do, something nasty though.
You’ve been warned!!
Alright, cooking rice. You can do it on the stove or in the microwave, it’s up to, I prefer the microwave because there is a lot less stirring. Now equal parts rice to water people, I can’t stress that enough, you don’t want your fried rice all stuck together in big rice lumps. The more water the more gluggy and shite the rice will be. 1 and ½ cups of rice is 6 mins on medium in a microwave rice cooker, pull it out stir it, put it back in for another 6 mins on medium and, bang! She’s done. Give it a stir too.
Now chop up your vegies and drain the ones that need draining from the cans, cut the white meat of your chicken and dice it up. Dice bacon, beat the eggs. The egg will be a thin omelette thinly sliced, cook that first in your mammoth fry pan or wok, take it out and slice it on ya chopping board.
Onion garlic bacon in the wok with a good splash of olive oil. Fry away for a couple of minutes. Throw in capsicum, stir. Then all your canned goods (drained and/or rinsed) Stir around for a few minutes. Now throw in the rice, stir it round til it’s all mixed through nicely. Chicken in now and egg too. Now the awesome part, a good ole’ splash of sherry, stir it round until the sherry is absorbed, then a splash of soy sauce and the spring onions on top, stir around and serve.
I know I know, I’m truly awesome.
Fun fact No95- Iain Hewitson once ate a baby. (Its true)
Nomad (Awesome Dude)
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